New York child custody, Manhattan child custody, Brooklyn child custody Lawyer
Divorce Lawyer. New York child custody, Manhattan child custody, Brooklyn child custody Lawyer.
Divorce Lawyer. New York child custody, Manhattan child custody, Brooklyn child custody Lawyer.

Articles on New York Divorce Law

How will the Court handle my case during Covid-19?
June 16, 2020


This article is about the coronavirus and how it has impacted our legal community in New York. On June 15,  2020 the court announced certain changes in the court system. Chief Judge DIFIORE made an updated message with respect to these latest developments and posted a video on the court’s website. One such development was a way to file documents electronically. Thus, even though the court system is closed, the court is now accepting new applications for divorce and child custody. The rules are a bit different with respect to Family court however since Family court is dealing with essential cases. However, what is different is that the court is excepting new divorce and child custody cases in Supreme Court.  There is a new 

Filing system that has been made available to the public called the EDDS. EDDS is an electronic document delivery system that will allow for the transmission of documents by litigants, judges, clerks, and other offices in New York. You can file new cases using this system and you may also file documents emotions in pending cases in New York State Supreme Court.


The chief justice announced on the New York Government website that they are working very diligently to get the courts and courthouse is open. On June 10, 2020, the justices return to their actual posts in the court room to attend to their pending case calendar. However, now, the courts are not open to attorneys arguing their cases except for emergencies. Normally, these applications are heard on Skype. It is hopeful however that we will get back to normal once we have COVID-19 under control. COVID-19 brings many challenges to New York divorce attorneys. First, if you are involved in a pending divorce matter, expect delays. Secondly, if you are already involved in a pending divorce matter you may have to revisit certain valuations as to your business and we are property and assets. This is because the financial situation surrounding these assets has changed and the value may have gone down. This will require new forensic evaluations and you might be able to expect additional delays because of that. on the upside of things, if you are the money spouse this might be a good time to consider filing for divorce if the marital assets have been reduced because of COVID-19. Another aspect to consider is filing for a modification in child support or spousal support if you have lost your job or if your business has gone under because of COVID-19. It is important to know that you should not just stop paying court ordered obligations because all court orders are continuing automatically until the courts set up a new court date for you. Therefore, if you are in financial difficulty You should not ignore your financial circumstances and you should seek relief and supreme court through a modification of child custody or child support obligations.


Ask your child custody, the COVID-19 problem has put a strain on our court system. Parties that have not been used to living together in small quarters for long periods of time are now considering divorce.  


As to those parties who have orders of protection in their favor, the courts have issued an order that all orders that were due to expire on March 19, 2020 has been automatically extended which means they’re still in effect.

As such, you are still protected as a matter of law.  All custody orders are also in effect until otherwise ordered by the court.


If you are considering a divorce her child custody case you may contact the law offices of Lisa Beth Older for more information. You can reach me on my cell phone at 914-388-7557. Thank you and good luck to you and your family.


By:  Manhattan divorce lawyer and Manhattan custody lawyer:  Lisa Beth Older, Esq.


What is child custody?
June 16, 2020

Child custody is one of the most horrible negotiations a person can find themselves in. When we speak of joint custody it means several things. You might agree on who will be making decisions, but you still need to work out a visitation schedule and a primary physical residence before you can enter into a written agreement. The written agreement should also include the place and time of all exchanges  including a schedule for holidays, summer recess break and vacations. 

Wow some of these arrangements are called visitation rights I like to refer to them as custodial time with each parent. Often the parents can work out these issues between themselves however if the exchanges become volatile and even Physical, sometimes you need to help with the court to work it out. Parties often referred to parent coordinators or mediators.

If you are afraid of your spouse and have reason to be, then make sure you pick a place for the exchange to occur that is in the public. You might also want to bring a third-party with you to bear witness to any possible violence or difficulties. If you wish to effectuate your custodial time, be sure you are diligent about arriving on the day and time that you are supposed to arrive on. You do not want to disappoint the children by not showing up. This can also work to your 

Detriment in a court case if you do not do so. Lately, the courts have been issuing parenting guidelines or codes of conduct expected of them in cases involving conflictual custody. These guidelines off and promote the fact that parents should not disparage the other party and should not interfere with the other party’s visitation, but rather should encourage and foster a good relationship between the children and the other parent. In fact, caselaw holds that failure to do so will render you per se unfit and the other parent  could win custody over you. This, even despite you are the better parent and all other matters. as to child custody, you have a choice of filing in Family court or Supreme Court. If you were not involved in a divorce action you should probably start with filing a custody case in Family court. If they divorce action is filed, then you always have the option of consolidating the case with the divorce action and removing the Family Court action into the divorce action. If you were in Family court fighting a custody case and you or the other party files for divorce, you are required to report this back to the Family court who will then encourage you to transfer the case to the Supreme Court to join with the divorce action. Many times, parents asked whether they could modify the custody agreement. This is a tricky area because once a Family core issues a custody order this is a binding order that is so ordered by the court. So, it is exceedingly difficult to modify this order. However, some circumstances might arise where a modification of child custody is imperative. Let us say that one party wishes to relocate and simply cannot exercise their visitation at their new residence. The court will entertain a modification petition under these facts. Also, if it can be shown that a modification is necessary to effectuate the best interest of the child, and there has been a substantial change in circumstances, you may move to modify the child custody order. as such, as long as you can find proof that there has been a huge change in circumstances then you may simply ask the court to modify the agreement so long as it furthers the best interest of the child or children. Make sure your agreements include a provision that the two of you can modify child custody between yourselves. If you were able to do that, then it is important that you get a court order that includes the new terms.


Another reason why you might seek modification is because the children get older and their voice gets stronger and they insist on their preference to live with the other party. If the children are 12 or 13 years of age you might want to file for a modification petition to modify the custody order because the children will be appointed an attorney called an AFC and that attorney must advocate for the preferences of the child or children. I hope this information helps you in your attempt to gain custody in your case.

By: Lisa Beth Older, your New York City divorce lawyer and Manhattan Custody lawyer.

Must I pay maintenance when I am over the age of retirement?
June 5, 2020

In a matter recently decided by the appellate division second department, located in Brooklyn, the appellate division reversed the trial court decision in part and held that there was no reason to award the plaintive wife maintenance.  The citation for the case is ACHUTHAN versus  ACHUTHAN 202, NY slip app 00255, decided this year on January 15, 2020. 

In that case, the court reversed the trial court decision awarding the wife maintenance. The appellate division reversed the decision because in part the husband was 80 years old and the wife was 71 years old. Another reason why the appellate division reversed the lower court decision in part was because the marital portion of the retirement account for the wife was increased by $800,000 by the appellate division’s decision from the award stipulated to by the parties at the time of the trial. 

In my view, the higher court that due to the large award of equitable distribution there was no basis to award spousal maintenance. This case was based on a filing for divorce prior to year 2016, which required the courts to consider many factors in determining maintenance. Subsequent to 2016, the courts generally follow the presumptively correct spousal maintenance amount awarded under the New York guidelines.

As in for equitable distribution, while the courts have an extreme amount of discretion in awarding distribution of marital assets, in this decision the appellate court self that a 51/49 percent split between the parties was unfair and next modified the lower court decision. In making adjustments to the award, to reflect a 50-50 split of marital assets, the court sided to the case of Spencer Dash Forest versus Forest, 159/83 at page 764.


In my opinion, while the court has a lot of discretion to make a distributive award , usually the lower court’s decision will not be disturbed. However, in this case it is interesting that the higher Court made this adjustment for two reasons.  First this was a long-term marriage of 33 years. So, on the facts, the distributive award in my opinion should have been 50-50.   Secondly, my take away from this decision is that this decision indicates that the courts are more and more likely to award 50% of the marital assets to the parties and that, apart from distribution of business entities,  this should be a starting point in negotiations.


By: Lisa Beth Older Esquire, your Manhattan divorce lawyer.

Celebrities do not get Special Treatment when it comes to Divorce in New York
May 17, 2020

Celebrity divorce in the impact of the coronavirus


According to news reports by CNN and Fox News, Mary Kate Olsen made an emergency application to the New York County Supreme  Court and requested permission to file an emergency divorce case against her husband Olivier Sarkozy.  That application was denied by the judge. Judge Michael Katz did not believe that it was an essential matter that needed to be addressed during the pandemic. Right now, the courts are only hearing Essential matters.  In order to file a new case that is deemed an emergency in the New York supreme court you must attached to your application and emergency affidavit which is available from the New York court website. The Courts are presently trying to deal with only emergencies as well as their current caseload of non-essential matters.  


Accordingly, at this time you can expect that the courts will not be excepting new divorce filings unless you are alleging domestic violence or some other emergency such as failure to provide health insurance coverage or arrears in child support or else some other emergency. That was for Family court, that court is also dealing with emergencies such as juvenile delinquency cases and ACS cases.


In the Olson matter, Judge  Katz was likely sending a message to the public that the family law courts of New York will not be hearing anything, but emergency matters given the present ongoing coronavirus pandemic. This message also speaks loudly to the integrity of the court and not giving special treatment to celebrities. In my practice, I have seen that the judges in Manhattan are very fair that way and do not get preferential treatment to celebrities.


According to the administrative judge, the court system in New York is putting together a plan to make it safe to reopen the courts. They are watching the statistics as stated by the health department and as stated by the governor of the state and they are considering staggering cases throughout the day so that not too many people are congregated in the same court room. They are also considering taking peoples temperature, masks, and other accommodations and re-fittings of the courthouse. Attorneys are given almost weekly updates which you can also read on the NY government website. 


For more information as to alternate ways of achieving a settlement in your divorce case feel free to call my office at 212-786-0901. Thank you.


By: Lisa Beth Older  

Your Manhattan Divorce Lawyer

April 19, 2020






The biggest question right now is whether the coronavirus pandemic in New York will affect your pending divorce case.  As a Manhattan Divorce lawyer and a Manhattan custody lawyer I can provide you with the following information.

As you know, most court rooms are closed indefinitely until further direction from the government.

However, do not expect the court system to be close forever. Such a consequence would potentially put people in danger as it would force parties who are nor altogether compatible to stay in close quarters for long stretches of time. As such, an alternate plan will be put in close to deal with such cases.

The first question becomes,  when the courts do re-open, how will this delay affect your ongoing divorce case.

The governors order that New York is on pause does not require everyone to stay in their homes but rather requires us to wear masks when we are out. When the courts re-open it will be interesting to see whether attorneys and litigants will be required to wear masks and the impact that might have on zealous vocal representation. However, you might expect that the government will institute safety precautions for when the court opens again, masks might be required when you go back to court, or more advocacy will be required to be submitted in writing.  

Other courts or judges will likely hold telephone conferences on emerging issues or will have attorneys appear virtually through zoom or FaceTime or telephone.

The next question is whether the coronavirus will affect the substantive parts of your case. For instance, if you had already undergone real estate appraisals and business appraisals prior to the virus, these appraisals will have to be redone to reflect the current financial status of the parties given that real estate prices and business valuations will have gone down, (or perhaps up) and given that the employment situation of the parties will likely have changed.

Next, if the parties were close to negotiating a settlement agreement, the agreement may be far from an execution date given that so many things have changed.

As far as custody cases go, if one or the other of the pier and acted unreasonably during the coronavirus and exposed the subject children to unnecessary or unreasonable risk of exposure, you can expect that the aggrieved party will raise this as an issue for modification of the current child custody order or agreement. On the other hand, it is unlikely that the court will allow one parent over the other to use the coronavirus as a basis for keeping the children from the primary custodial parent during the virus. All parties are expected to abide by current agreements and court orders until the courts reopen. In fact, the police departments have been instructed that until further notice all child custody orders and visitation orders should be enforced.

As and for child support, this issue is particularly troubling since the payor spouse may not have access to the court system right now and they will likely have a change in their financial situation as a result of unemployment and will need to seek modification. The coronavirus pandemic does not automatically change your obligations under an extant  child support order. Therefore, if you cannot afford child support because  of the virus, it will become necessary for you to file a modification petition. This might be viewed as an emergency application since failure to pay child support could subject you to contempt of court. Each court will handle this on a case by case basis.

The basis for a modification petition is, three years have passed from the date of the order, a change in other parties’ income by 15%, or a change in circumstances which is substantial. Although the parties can waive off on a couple of the bases for a modification petition, neither party under operation of law is allowed to waive the right to modify a child support order under a substantial change in circumstances. On the other hand, if you are the person receiving child support and you were not receiving child support it may be appropriate for you to make an emergency application in Family court or in supreme court for enforcement of that order. Do not wait until last minute to apply for emergency relief. What the courts will do during this this pandemic with  respect to enforcement of ongoing child support orders will be interesting because this pandemic is unprecedented. However, it can be expected that the courts will be flexible with helping the parties in reaching an agreement until the financial circumstances stabilize.

Each County Court is handling open or pending cases differently. Some courts are entertaining telephone conferences if the attorneys haven’t been able to settle difficulties between themselves. Other courts will not entertain an application for relief unless it is an emergency.

Be that as it may, you can expect that you may not file a new divorce petition until the courts re-open unless it entails an emergency and even then a special affidavit is required to be executed before you do that or the court clerk will not entertain your application.

That does not mean that you should not retain counsel to start preparation of your divorce complaint. A very common problem and issue that has arisen is whether or not a  child should be sent to a daycare center. If you are an essential worker, and you have no other alternative, of course you will have to look into daycare centers that are practicing social distancing and other hygiene practices. However, if the other spouse is available to take care of your child during the pandemic when you are working the courts, when they eventually open, will likely look favorably upon the party that shows that they have been working closely with the ex-spouse or ex-partner in attempting to provide direct care for the child in the home of one or the other spouse or partner.

Of course, if there is family violence, the Family court is always open to addressing a family offense petition. In addition, if there is neglect or abuse of the children, the child protective services will become involved and it is likely that a petition will be filed by them in Family court which will be entertained by the court. If Child protective services does not get involved, then you should file an emergency petition for relief in instances of abuse or neglect.  Other than that, there’s not much that can be done until the courts reopen. I hope this information has been helpful. Thank you.

By: Lisa Beth Older, your Manhattan divorce lawyer.


Are the Courts open?
April 6, 2020









In March of 2020 itbecame evident that the corona virus would inevitably cause courthouses throughout the State of New York to close indefinitely.

The coronavirus has affected the court system in a dramatic way in New York State. As of yesterday, the state of the law has two cases pending in the court of appeals in the state of New York will not be heard for oral argument in April and May.

As far as divorce cases go, the only court filings that will be entertained will need to be accompanied by an emergency affidavit.

During the coronavirus, the New York State courts, including but not limited to those cases involving New York Divorce lawyers and Manhattan Family Court Lawyers,  will be instituting various measures of relief in order to reduce thenumber of people in the court room.  As of today’s, writing the Supreme Court of the State of New York is closed to the public.

However, there are some exceptions to the rule.  For instance, beginning on March 25 and March 26, 2020 New York City criminal court and New York City Family Court will begin listening to cases by virtual court hearings performed through video or telecommunications. The types of cases the court will hear by telephone or video R child protection cases, juvenile delinquency cases, family events cases, and emergency writ applications as to custody and parenting time. As a result of Governor Cuomo’s executive order, new court filings that are not essential will not be excepted by the court clerk.

it appears as though each New York county will be handling their caseload differently. Therefore, it is important to call the court if you already have a scheduled court appearance to ascertain whether your case has been adjourned and to what date. If you are going through a custody or divorce appeal, and you had filing deadlines that we are set by the court hearing your appeal, then all filings and deadlines are being suspended until further notice of the court. That is, any cases that were pending on March 17, 2020 will be

indefinitely adjourned until you hear otherwise from the court.

Additionally, as reported in the New York Law Journal on March 20, 2020, The court is asking that if you tested for the COVID-19 virus and visited the courthouse between March 6 and March 20 to call the court immediately to report that so that the court can then trace their personnel and other attorneys who may have been at risk as a result of exposure to the virus. I will keep you updated as to the latest developments in the court system as this horrific pandemic continues. If you need further information, I refer you to the court website at front.

Stay healthy and for now stay home!


Your Manhattan Divorce Lawyer Lisa Beth Older, Esq. 




April 3, 2020

Hello my friends.  This information is from the law office of Lisa Beth Older. During these days of the devastating corona pandemic, families are wondering how they’re going to make it through the end of the week. For those of you who are going through a contested divorce case, child custody case, or child-support enforcement case, these days can be especially brutal. This article is for information purposes only and is intended to give you an insight as to what is contained in the $2 trillion corona virus package that can help you help yourself and empower your former spouse to honor his commitments under the divorce or support order.

If you are the payor of the support at issue and are having trouble keeping  your small business going, you should be aware of the provisions in this act.

There is also state aid available in your state that is peculiar to your state. In New York State, for example, we have special unemployment rules that now allow not only small businesses but solo practitioners to request relief in the form of unemployment benefits.  The Federal government will also kick in additional sizable sums in an effort to bring you almost whole, at least through this pandemic, if you are unemployed as a result of this virus.

You should also know that in New York State you may enforce child support orders and Family court even though the rest of the courts may be closed for other matters. You should also know that you can still apply for Snap relief (or food stamps relief.).

But, getting back to the Care’s act. in this federal bill, if your spouse tells you that they can no longer afford to pay under court orders, you can inform them that there is protection under this act and that they should apply for it right away. As for those parents that rely on childcare centers, the Care’s act provides for immediate assistance to childcare centers so that parents can stay at work if they are essential workers. As for grants and loans, there are programs such as the payroll protection act which provides loans which, if applied towards payroll, can be forgiven in whole or part.


If you have children that are in college and you are paying for college under your divorce decree, students who have to drop out of college as a result of this virus will not have time from school taken from their limits on taking out  future loans. Those students that have to leave as a result of the coronavirus will also not have to pay back any other forms of student aid or grants already received by them.


There are other programs that your children can benefit from such as funding for the arts, and educational institutions such as universities in college. It is worth your while to read the Cares Act.


If you are a parent that is charged with supporting your children apply for disaster relief that is provided under the Cares act. I will detail them for you below.  But you can receive low interest loans for economic disaster relief through the Cares act and through the small business administration.


For individuals that are unemployed as a result of the coronavirus, there was an expansion of unemployment benefits and for individuals that are self-employed or have employees, and the new rules will allow employers to be incentivized to keep their employees in place and their businesses ongoing.  So if you are currently undergoing a divorce and the payor ex-spouse claims his business is failing or closing, and hence cannot pay under the court order, this information will be useful to you when the courts reopen if you told your spouse about these programs and he or she failed to participate in them.


If you are obliged to pay child support or spousal support under your divorce decree, it might be important for you to know that the following relief will enable you to meet your financial responsibility under the applicable court order or divorce judgment.


There are three main Cares Act programs to look into right away. 

1•            Paycheck Protection Program the government will pay the business owner 2.5 times his or her monthly payroll expense if they keep employees paid during this crisis and keep employees for eight weeks, and you will not have to pay all of it back.

2.            The Economic Injury Disaster Loans (EIDL) at 3.75 percent which will be used to assist the payor spouse on a temporary or final Order in meeting payroll, pre-existing debt, rent, utilities and operating costs. There is also a very sizable operating grant you can also get up to $10,000 for businesses that have applied for the loan.

3.           Tax benefits: Your spouse may also benefit from receiving certain valuable tax benefits such as a large one time check from the government  and an employee retention credit.  There, the business must show that its operation was suspended by due to COVID-19 during the calendar quarter while under government mandate. Or that they lost 50% of their revenues.  Wages paid after March 12, 2020, but before January 2021 are eligible for this sizeable credit. Moreover, the SBA will have to under this law be responsible to pay principal, interest, and fees for these pre-existing SBA loans for up to a duration of 6 months.

Next, look at your New York laws whcih have been expanded to provide relief during these trying times.

Next, now is the time for ex-spouses to try to work together to protect and provide for their families.

And if all else fails, there is always Family Court which is open for enforcement of prexisting support orders (and for domestic violence and criminal matters the criminal court is always an option.)

I hope this has been useful and stay safe and healthy and God Bless you.

Together we will get through this.  

By:  Lisa Beth Older

Your NYC Divorce Lawyer


Can I get a divorce during the Corona Virus Pandemic?
March 19, 2020





Should I seek a legal separation while quarantined?


During this terrible pandemic of the coronavirus parties that had once contemplated a divorce before the spread of the virus now find themselves trapped in the same living quarters as their soon-to-be-estranged spouse. They also find themselves in the predicament of facing

Court House closures.


It is important to note that you have options. One of these options is to seek mediation telephonically.  You might also consider entering into  a separation agreement remotely with a New York Divorce Lawyer. 


If you are a victim of domestic violence you still have the same options as before.  Of course, you may also call the police, but you should also consider calling an attorney who can file an emergency family offense petition for you with Family court.


It is also important to note that in New York City, the Family court is open for parties that need to enforce child support orders or need protection under family offense proceedings.


With respect to emergencies of this nature, the court is open. However, if you are seeking nonessential services such as a divorce or a separation, while an attorney cannot file that for you at this time, there is hope.  As the virus gets under control, the court clerks will resume their duties and obligations to accept filings and  courts will re-open, at least to the extent of filing your divorce electronically.


Furthermore, during this time when you have the time on hand you can negotiate a post nuptial agreement or a separation agreement with  the help of a New York City divorce lawyer either on the telephone, through FaceTime, or even in a private interview at some of the offices that remain open.  However, should New York become subject to a mandatory quarantine, all customary manners of action will change dramatically, and you will need to contact your matrimonial lawyer through electronic devices.  


Moreover, a well versed matrimonial lawyer with tested professional associations with bar associations throughout New York State is best equipped to provide and can be counted on to provide courtesy information as to the status of local changes in the court administration  That said, instead of fighting with your spouse it might be a good time to sit down and work out the terms of your agreement as best you can so that you can call in the terms of your divorce and have a divorce lawyer draft same and have another divorce lawyer for your spouse review it. Once you live pursuant to a duly executed separation agreement or settlement agreement that will serve as a template for a divorce action later on once we get the virus under control and the courts re-opened.  As  discussed in prior articles in this blog, living separately pursuant to a separation agreement is also grounds for a divorce.  I hope this helped you understand how to proceed in the event that a divorce just can’t wait.

By Your New York City Divorce Lawyer Lisa Beth Older.





What do I do if I can not locate my spouse to enforce child support?
March 16, 2020

The Office of Child Support Enforcement or the office of the administration for children and families is a federal government department that makes sure the child support is being paid on a national level.

While this agency does not give direct services, the agency works with state child support services agencies to make sure that parents provide their children with well needed financial and medical support. if you need help in forcing your child support order, usually you can get that by going to your local Family court office and they will assist you in preparing the documents

Or, you can hire a New York City divorce lawyer or child custody lawyer to help you.  

State child support agencies may be able to help you locate noncustodial parents.  This is important because without a location of the noncustodial spouse you will not be able to ask the court for assistance to make determinations as to paternity, determine child support orders, make modifications to child support orders, and even collect child support payments on your behalf.   Also, the federal Office of the Administration for Children and Families can provide you with a handbook as to how to go about locating the proper local, state and tribal agencies who can assist you. So, if you need help finding a noncustodial parent, the above stated agency can help.

They will provide you with a child support handbook where you will find information. In most cases, you must know where the other parent lives or works. If you were having difficulty getting that information, then the child support office in your state our county can try to ascertain that. The most important bit of information that you may need to provide is the noncustodial parent’s Social Security number and any other identifying information such as last place of employment, last place of residence, or any prior history of employment. This information is critical because you cannot get a custody order enforcement of a custody order or modification of a custody order from a Court unless you serve the non-custodial parent with these papers. Due process requires that the noncustodial parent has actual written notice and opportunity to be hears.  The good news is that state child support agencies have access to information that you cannot readily get ahold of from state governments, and from the federal government where applicable.  They can best legally access state tax return files, real property titles, personal property records, public aid agencies, motor vehicle departments, and law-enforcement agencies.  Your local child support enforcement agency can assist you in this regard. If you find that your local child-support agency is not assisting you as much as you would like or as quickly as you would like then you can try to obtain records yourself from the department of motor vehicle by doing a motor vehicle search. To conclude, your local child support enforcement services agency should be able to help you locate the non-custodial parent. They have access to records that the ordinary individual does not have access to while providing due process and safety precautions at the same time. I hope this information has been useful. After obtaining that information you can go ahead and file your child support application in New York.


By your New York City divorce lawyer Lisa Beth Older

What if my spouse is turning our children against me?
March 12, 2020

Parental alienation has a huge impact on child custody cases


The New York courts considers parental alienation in its decision as to which parent shall obtain custody over children. When a quart feels that a child is refusing to have any relationship whatsoever with the other parent a quart then explores reasons as to why that is happening. In the absence of and fitness or abuse it is not unreasonable to imagine that parental alienation is occurring. The courts take parental alienation very seriously. The concept of parental alienation is not straightforward and at one time was discredited. However, the term parental alienation is seeing a comeback in the courts and has found new scientific legs upon which to support the theory.


If, for no apparent reason, your child is no longer talking to you or is expressing hatred towards you, the chances are the other parent could be saying bad things about you to the child. In other words, the child is merely mirroring that parent’s hatred of the other parent. Parental alienation often occurs in the middle of a divorce case. However, it can also occur under other circumstances. If children are around too many negative statements made by one parent about the other parent, they experience something called parental alienation. There are experts in the field who can ascertain whether the child is being alienated against one parent. For instance, when a child displays anger and fear not grounded in any rational basis these feelings of anger are usually planted in the head of the child by the opposite parent. This psychological twisting of a child is detrimental to the child and his or her family relationships because children try to trust and need to rely upon both parents in order to develop in a healthy manner, but when one parent poisons the child against the other parent it is not only detrimental to the child but it can also have dire consequences on the injuring party's case.


It unjustifiably causes the child to have negative feelings toward the aggrieved parent. An example of parental alienation is when a parent blames the other parent by having an adult conversation with the child as to the finances of the parties and why they cannot longer enjoy certain activities they used to enjoy prior to the divorce, y blaming the child’s lack of enjoyment of said activities on the fact that the other parent is the bad guy. Sometimes this happens purposefully and many times I see it happen unintentionally, but it can happen nevertheless and should be voided in any New York Custody case. Any good Manhattan Custody lawyer will warn against it and will be on the lookout for it. There is a lot of case law that developed in the state of New York that deals with parental alienation. One of the accepted principles of law is called interference with the noncustodial parent's relationship with the child. If the court finds that one spouse has intentionally interfered with the relationship of the child and the noncustodial parent, the court finds that that parent is per se unfit to parent. You can imagine the consequences of this in a custody case that goes to trial. The lesson from all of this to be learned is do not speak badly about the other parent in front of your child. If you need to speak badly about your spouse, hire a therapist to vent or speak to a friend or another adult. Involving a child in your divorce and financial problems is the worst possible thing you can do for your child and will likely have negative consequences in your case.


If you feel that your spouse has alienated your child against you, then argue in court that you have been the victim of intentional alienation and that as a result your spouse should not be awarded custody. It is a very strong case, but it’s also a difficult one to prove without expert testimony. If you suspect that you are a victim of parental alienation, then ask your attorney to request the appointment of an attorney for the child and forensic evaluations of the parties.  After all parties and the children have been interviewed, if the forensic evaluator feels there are sufficient facts for showing a parental alienation, this factor will play a large role in what the judge will do in your New York custody case.


By: New York divorce lawyer Lisa Beth Older